Donald Trump is nothing if not smart. He loves to watch documentaries with his family. Two specific documentaries have helped shape his ideals. They are “Aladdin” and “Three Kings.” Since watching “Aladdin,” Trump has decided that we must appoint an ambassador to Agrabah. He really thinks that we can work with Jafar. “He’s one heck of an adviser,” he told his press secretary. He also feels that corruption is at every level of Muslim societies because even princes can be thieves. He loves the monkey and wonders why only undocumented Mexicans like Dora the Explorer and Aladdin get to have monkeys as sidekicks. He was overheard asking an aide, “Can I have a monkey be my VP? They sure seem to get a lot done. Not like that Chris Christie. He gets my damn McDonald’s order wrong all the time…and it comes back half-eaten, the fat slob. I want to build a wall to keep him out of the Oval Office.”
He also didn’t know that Arabic women could be so hot. “That Jasmine, she’s a looker. If more Muslim women looked like her, I might reconsider my Syrian refugee policy.”
As for the genie, Trump says that’s just a government handout and has no place in American society. People just can’t wish for things. They have to have their father give them an inheritance so they can build a real estate empire out of it. You know, through good, old-fashioned hard work. The way real Americans do it. Not those filthy Mexican rapists.
The other, more disturbing information that Trump has come across is that Iraqi war veterans took money from the US during the first Gulf War. Yup. Of course, Trump, a staunch supporter of veterans’ rights has had to chastise the military for being dishonest. As Trump actually said, “Iraq, crooked as hell. How about bringing baskets of money – millions and millions of dollars – and handing it out? I want to know who were the soldiers that had that job, because I think they’re living very well right now, whoever they may be.”*
He also told Mark Wahlberg and George Clooney to give the money back. It was the right thing to do. George Clooney, a solid Clinton supporter, said, when asked, “What a fucking idiot? I can’t believe he’s the Republican nominee.” Mark Wahlberg, on the other hand, had stronger words for Trump, “American soldiers had a difficult job in Iraq, and they did it to the best of their ability. We believe that American soldiers are heroes. They are not grifters. Anyone who suggests otherwise has no right to be commander-in-chief.”
*Yes, indeed, this is another actual Donald Trump quote. Here’s the link: http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trump-accuses-us-troops-stealing-money-iraq.
This is from the book – How Many Trump Supporters Does It Take To Screw In a Lightbulb, now available on Amazon.com — here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/Many-Trump-Supporters-Screw-Lightbulb-ebook/dp/B01IKV2O9K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1468708443&sr=8-1&keywords=how+many+trump+supporters+does+it+take+to+screw+in+a+lightbulb